Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping. Never when I need to, but I still wish I could lay my head down at 10 pm like most people and shut my eyes and wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to take on the world, but that’s obviously not my lot in life, and that’s okay. I’m very thankful for what I have, and sometimes I have to remind myself of just how blessed I am. Photography is one of those things I feel particularly touched by, but not in the ways that you might think.
Photography is incredibly important to some businesses and some people, and I find myself at the intersection of that need and appreciation, and I love being there. I’m always a little surprised at the reactions of an unveiling to a client because they’re always so pleased. And so surprised. Often, people don’t see themselves the same way I see them, and it stands to reason that I don’t see myself the same way most people see me. Other than incredibly tall, I guess. But I am a romantic. Not in the flowers presented on bended knee sense, but in the way that I see others and see the world. Women are all uber feminine, creatures of mystery, grace, and beauty. Men are all dashing, debonair sophisticates, ready to break into a Fred Astaire-esque dance in the rain or on car roofs in a downtown setting. I arrange them according to what I “see”, and capture them in that sense, and people love it. They feel it a little like I do and it makes them feel good. Women are hard to get and men are relentless pursuers, same thing. Men are the gentleman pirate on a harlequin romance cover, and their women are the damsels in distress. Same thing. I get a feel for something or someone and want it that way. It’s what I see that is the difference between me and others that do the same thing I do, and sometimes with the same clients, but I need to convey a feeling and that’s really what I try to do.
To see me sitting here at my computer, in boxers and an undershirt at my cluttered and messy desk, surrounded by light stands and a modeling table from my latest product shoot, I don’t seem like a romantic. I’m not the caricature I see in others. I’m a chubby, taller, much less interesting version of my clients, but I live vicariously through them, admiring the groom and loving the bride in order to do what I do well. The business owner in pursuit of perfection to deliver to his clients is an artisan in my eyes, and his output is a masterpiece to me and I want to capture and show it beautifully. I want to show him as the Captain Ahab after his own white whale, and that resonates with clients and their customers. But that requires a bit of an emotional investment, and I always feel it later. I’m still young enough that I still don’t get tired physically, but I get emotionally drained, and that is exhausting in it’s own way.
I’m gonna take another crack at the pillow, but do me a favor and go look in the mirror. See something positive about yourself. Your beautiful eyes, your beautiful skin, your wonderful posture, your great teeth, your amazing lips, your beautiful back, shoulders, hair, and in general how you’re an incredibly amazing creature and there’s no one else like you in the world. That makes you breath taking, and I love you for it.
Word to your moms,
PS- If you need a photographer, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I could use more beauty in my life.
There’s some cliche’d images (none are mine) in the video, but most make you feel something and they’re worth a gander.