Stress and the modern wedding

This isn’t really a photography blog, but is more of an advice blog for those planning their nuptuals and all of the celebration surrounding it…

When I got married back in 1996, I basically just showed up.  We participated in some pre-marriage counseling sessions because it seemed like a good idea, and it was, but other than that and going broke, I was pretty hands off.  My bride and future Mother in Law planned everything.  All I had to do was show up and say I do.  And I did.  It was a raging success because my voice didn’t even crack, but then I practiced.

But I want to share something with you ladies.  When your man asked you to marry him, it wasn’t for a wedding.  When he did, he had visions of waking up next to you every morning and growing old with you by his side.  Normal everyday you.  Not stressed and tense you, not upset because someone’s life changed and couldn’t attend your wedding you, but the you that he fell in love with.  Not all men are wedding planners.  I would venture to say that most men don’t really care about the wedding.  That’s why it’s called the Bride’s Day.  You have been planning this day since you saw Father of the Bride when you were 9 years old.  You knew it was your big chance to be a princess of Disney quality.  But when you started thinking about your big wedding day, your fiance probably still thought girls smelled funny or something along those lines and was more focused on playing baseball.

A good man knows it’s your day and doesn’t poo poo the event.  But just because he isn’t as excited as you are about the day is really no reason to question his love for you or whether he wants to marry you.  Let him be as involved as he wants to be and everything will be better.  Let him focus on planning his bachelor party with the groomsmen instead.  Let him handle the details of the honeymoon arrangements.  Bring him in for the fun stuff, engagement pictures, cake tasting, etc…   But don’t go into hysterics 4 days before your wedding because he forgot what the colors were, or because he laughed when you told him you were worried about motion sickness in a horsedrawn carriage.  He will never know how big this day is to you, because to him it’s just the day that he says “I do” to loving you for the rest of his life.


So just relax, take a deep breath, and know that you have a good man, even if he doesn’t know colors or seem very interested in your bridesmaid gifts…

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